We'll call him Gary. Cuz that's his name. He was my second boyfriend... the first one wasn't worth a shit. I met Gary at our HS Prom. I went to the Prom with his best friend, and he went with my best friend at the time. I immediately liked Gary. Drunk as he was, I was like a moth to a flame. We started dating a few days later, and we were together about four years. We did everything together. I truly loved that guy. We went on vacations, 3-wheeled, snowmachined, camped... you name it, we did it all together. He was a year older than me, graduated earlier than me, and went on to a school up north for about six months. We stayed together the whole time. After that, he came home and as far as I was concerned, the earth could go back to spinning, I had my Gary back, my best friend. We were very happy. There came a time when he needed to go to school in WA for a few months. I was out of HS by then, and working, and we decided that we would put his VW Bug on the ferry, load it up with what we could haul, and I went with him. That was when the shit hit the fan with my dad. Even though I was 18, out of HS and working, my dad went through the roof. But we went anyway. We rented a small apartment on Queen Anne Hill in Seattle and those were some of the best days ever. We didn't have much, I wasn't working, and he was only getting a little money a month from his Alaska employer to cover rent and groceries. But it was all good. We would treat ourselves on the weekends, and go to a little restaurant for a burger and several games of PacMan. We were together every night, and that was all that mattered.
Then it was time to go back home. My dad was still pissed. Gary and I stayed together, but my dad wouldn't let Gary anywhere near our home. It made things difficult, and put a strain on our relationship. By that time I was working for a car rental company, and for whatever reasons I can't remember now, we started to drift apart. It had a lot to do with the fact that my dad hated him, and he made things very diffucult for us. Eventually, Gary found a little house to live in that his employer let him have rent-free. That place was probably 40 years old, but it was all his. We had fun painting and decorating it, and things were ok, but I was back living at home where my dad made my life with Gary a living hell.
While working at the car rental place one day, a man, several years older than me (who was related to my boss) came in to see me. We'll call him Don. Cuz that's his name. I was flattered... he was the "catch of the town" at the time, and he was there to see ME. He made up some lame excuse about why he was there, I believe he asked me to make some signs for him for his softball team's 4th of July booth. Would I mind doing that for him? Heck yeah!
And there it began.... the beginning of the biggest mistake of my life. I sort of ended things with Gary, and sort of started a relationship with Don. Don was very good to me, and after a while I "thought" I was in love. But my heart was torn. Gary and I had had everything together, life and love, not a pot to piss in, but I've never been a material girl. We could've lived on $50 a week, and been perfectly happy and content. Don was a journeyman at his job, made killer bucks, and had just bought his first house. Of course my dad LOVED Don, there was money in that family.
I had a decision to make. And it was hard. At the time. In retrospect, there never should've been a doubt in my mind that Gary was for me. We had it all.
I distinctly remember going back and forth between the two houses. I would go to Gary's house, help him paint and things, and then drive right over to Don's house, and help him paint. I was back and forth, back and forth. Gary wanted me... it was breaking his heart that I was dating someone else. I remember one night I was at Don's house, we were painting the living room, and I happened to look out the window, and Gary was parked across the street...he was just sitting there in the dark in his VW Bug with his parking lights on, and staring up at the window where I was at with Don. If I was smart, I would have cut and run at that moment, and Gary and I would probably still be happily married to this day with ten kids. But I didn't.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Don asked me to marry him and I said yes. I don't know why. Looking back, I "thought" I loved him, he was security, and it was a way out of my dad's house. Away from that hell house. But there was always something nagging at me, tugging at my heart, and telling me that this marriage really was not right. My heart wasn't 100% in it. Gary was in my heart.
Don and I attended pre-marital counseling at the church we were going to be married in... and I lied my way through it. I was going to make this work. We got married on 7/17/87, had a big wedding and reception, and I started pretending again. I was only 21, and didn't know what the hell marriage was. I became pregnant the following January, and I was thrilled. But within a few days of finding out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage. I fell out of my tree for a couple weeks after that. Things were never really right between Don and I, we were living a fairy tale that wasn't meant to be. We divorced the following September.
By then, my Gary was gone. He had found another girl, and there was no going back.
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